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Let’s Start A Fire!

Not long home from hospital, following my post op check up/results, earlier today.
All in all a very positive outcome. I have been told that I don’t need to have any further treatment!! 🙂

It turns out that they found no Cancer in the thyroid after all (or the lymph glands they removed), and that the dodgy cells were confined, only, to the golf ball sized cyst that was bulging out of the thyroid (and the side of my neck).

My consultant/surgeon said “I don’t really know if you’re gonna think this is good news or bad”, as he explained the situation to me.
On the one hand the news is really positive, but I guess it does mean that the full thyroid didn’t need to be removed – and I didn’t need to be on meds for the rest of my days, as I am now.

It turns out, that the two other tumors on the right hand side (the ones they had biopsied and said were “inconclusive”) were also benign!

It was explained to me, that with the thyroid, it’s very difficult to get an exact diagnosis until it’s out, unfortunately…and that most of us walk around with benign cysts on our thyroid, that we usually remain blissfully unaware of, our whole lives!!

Personally I’m going down the ‘positive’ route with this one – just really pleased that I don’t have to have Radioactive Iodine treatment, which I had been psyching myself up for, as the next step in the journey 🙂
Also, not to have lost my voice through all of this is a huge bonus for me 🙂

It’s been a testing 2/3 months, that’s for sure, from diagnosis to surgery and final results – not knowing exactly where this was going to take me.

And the moral of the story? Have I learned anything?

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Yes, that the word “Cancer” can be a scary word to hear, but at the end of the day, it’s just a word! Unfortunately we have attached so much dread and fear to that word, that the very mention of it leads us into a state of panic.

I had to remind myself, right from the start, that this Cancer thing wasn’t any dark blackness that had supposedly taken over my body: instead these we’re just cells (my cells!!) that had decided to go ‘a little rouge’ / ‘out of alignment’, but that it was “still my body!” – nothing to fear!!

Releasing this fear truly helped me accept and ‘flow’ with what was happening to me at the time (plus all the wonderful words and messages that you very kindly sent throughout – for which I’m truly grateful ) ♡

And so, it’s time to get some logs on the grate and start a fire! It’s time to close the chapter and burn some leaflets!! LOL

‘Game on’ again!!! 🙂

Sending much love….J xx

Countdown to 2016

Just saying hello from the the place I’m staying at, in Edinburgh, as the countdown to 2016 begins.

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Taking this opportunity to thank you for your company, love and words of kindness throughout this year – especially in the last couple of months – it means so much to me.

Hoping 2016 brings good things your way 🙂

Wishing you love, peace and happiness, wherever you are in the world

Sending all my love ♡
J xxxx

Edinburgh

Following a 9.5 hour drive North on Monday , it was great to relax and walk around the pretty Christmas stalls in Princes Street Gardens today. The weather is very cold and windy here at the moment, but that didn’t stop me taking to the ice for some skating!! 🙂

In the grounds below the castle, the sound/lighting crews were busy rigging the stage for the live performances taking place there tomorrow night (New Year Celebrations).

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As I’m staying just a couple of miles south of the city centre, I’m really looking forward to seeing the fireworks light up the Scottish night sky tomorrow.

For now, just glad to be back at the place I’m staying and chilling in front of the fire! 🙂

Sending best wishes and much love from a very cold Edinburgh! 🙂
J xx

Scotland

(Don’t forget your toothbrush!!) Up early this morning to get packed, as heading off to Scotland for New Year 🙂

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Not looking forward to the 500 mile trip, but looking forward to spending a few days In Edinburgh and seeing in 2016 back home, for a change.

Feeling much better now and healing at an incredible rate! 🙂 Even discovered, quite by accident, whilst on ‘auto pilot’ in the shower yesterday that I can still sing! Was completely unaware I was doing it at first, but it’s great to know that everything still works! – even pitch and modulation are good (my biggest fear) and the breathy tonal sound is still there too!! I know this is way more than my surgeon would have expected by now, as he gave me one of ‘those’ looks, when I suggested, pre-op, that maybe “I could try singing again around mid to late January?”

All in all, so much to be thankful for 🙂

Hope all is good with you and you’re enjoying the holiday season.
Will catch up again from North of the border! 🙂

Much love …J x

Happy Holidays!

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Just a little message to wish you a very Merry Christmas whenever it arrives with you, wherever you may be in the world 🙂

At this end, the ‘post op healing’ is going well, with almost all of the pain and bruising now gone. My speaking voice is also very clear now too, which is great! 🙂

Hugely grateful to my surgeon and all of the nursing staff who looked after me throughout my recent stay in hospital.

Today, spent some time in the City (Bath), soaking up some pre Christmas atmosphere.
In the square, the Abbey bells rang out, as the late afternoon sunshine began to fade. Time to head for home and the comforting warmth of a log fire.

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Sending all my love ♡
J xx

 

My New Neck

Just waking up at home this morning, following my discharge from hospital last night and my surgery on Thursday (17th).

As it turns out, it ended up being a full thyroidectomy after all. This was an approx 3.5 / 4 hour operation, which included neural nerve monitoring of the vocal chords throughout and the removal of 3 or 4 lymph glands sitting just below the thyroid, on the windpipe ( purely precautionary….and to avoid possible need for further surgery at a later date).

My surgeon, who is also my consultant, has been great throughout. He promised he’d do all he could to save my voice and to leave me with the smallest scar possible! (He did! My scar is very short. 2.5 – 3 inch in length across the middle of my throat). This is tiny by comparison to some thyroidectomy scars, which can be literally ‘ear to ear’ in length!

Obviously, along with the scarring has been extensive bruising, but I’m keeping everything moisturized to give it the best chance of healing.
Meanwhile swallowing, eating and talking have been incredibly painful, but starting to get slightly easier now, with regular intake of pain meds 🙂
Just looking forward to a quiet few days of recuperation at home before Christmas.
As for the singing voice – time will tell I guess.

In the meantime, I have plenty of ‘ homework’ from the record company, who have been sending through some mixes from the ‘Italian’ album for me to listen to.
These are the files, which have now arrived in the USA, for completion 🙂

Will try and post again, before Christmas, when I’m looking/feeling more ‘human’ LOL!
In the meantime, hope all is good with you! 🙂

Sending best wishes and much love,
J xx

Bath

Warm woolly jumper on for a trip into the City centre.

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In town the beautiful twinkling Christmas lights and Market stalls signal the start of the Festive season. Meanwhile just off Abbey square Christmas carols can be heard sung by local choirs. Truly beautiful 🙂

On another note, and just as a quick update. News from my hospital consultant, this morning, that my scheduled surgery for this Thursday has been postponed until the 17th December – apparently they want to see if it’s possible to save half of my thyroid!

This could be good news, if it all works out, as this could slightly reduce the risk of vocal damage and also mean that I probably wouldn’t need to take thyroid meds 🙂

In the meantime it does mean I need to have a couple more ‘not so pleasant’ biopsys carried out (the first one tomorrow!) but this is a small price to pay for the possibility of a better outcome.

Not getting my hopes up to high – we’ll see i guess.

Big thanks in the meantime for your warm wishes and messages – it’s very kind 🙂

Hoping you’re getting into the Festive spirit wherever you are!

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Sending much love ♡
J xx

1 in 3

‘1 in 3’ (that wasn’t on my Christmas wish list!), following a recent diagnosis of Thyroid cancer, I have now been given a date of Thursday 3rd December for surgery (full thyroidectomy).

This diagnosis has made me confront some fears on several levels. Not only was it a very surreal and emotional experience to be given the diagnosis itself (especially as I was at Hospital alone, for what I thought was only going to be a follow up ultrasound scan), but to be made aware that this type of surgery invariably brings a very real risk of vocal chord damage, was indeed a terrifying realization for me.

Needless to say that the first night, at home, was a mixed one of disbelief and confusion. “Why did it have to be my throat”? “Why so close to the vocal chords”? Singing has always been such a huge part of my life – since I was a kid!!

It felt like some kind of sick joke – except it wasn’t. It was real – very real!!
There was little sleep that night. I think at one point, I curled up in a tight little ball and managed to cry myself to sleep for at least a couple of hours,

The following few days however, finally brought a degree of perspective to the situation, as I realized that although I couldn’t change my diagnosis (it is what it is), I could absolutely, 100% control the level of fear I wished to assign to this experience…and so I decided that there was “no fear” to be had with this situation, which has truly helped me to maintain a great degree of relative calm (that’s not to say I don’t still have the odd moment…. LOL).

I have also been lucky to have the support of family members at this time, although my mum remains unaware of the situation – she has had her own medical issues to deal with recently, and this news certainly wouldn’t aid her recovery (it’s OK she doesn’t use Facebook! )

And so I step forward into somewhat ‘uncharted waters’ which, either way, I’m sure will have a lasting impression upon my life.

They say that 1 in 3 of us will be affected by cancer at some point in our lives and if that’s the case, then it’s fine with me if, hopefully, my diagnosis means that somewhere out there, 2 people will never need to hear the words “take a seat”, “I’m afraid I have some not so good news for you”.

Wherever you are in the world, whatever you’re doing, take care of you, and be happy 🙂

And if you happen to be heading to the sales, for the madness that is ‘Black Friday ‘ / ‘dog eat dog Friday’ or ‘Kill or be killed Friday’ (whatever it’s called!), then stay safe and don’t get caught in the crush!

Have a great weekend!
Sending lots of love
J x