‘1 in 3’ (that wasn’t on my Christmas wish list!), following a recent diagnosis of Thyroid cancer, I have now been given a date of Thursday 3rd December for surgery (full thyroidectomy).
This diagnosis has made me confront some fears on several levels. Not only was it a very surreal and emotional experience to be given the diagnosis itself (especially as I was at Hospital alone, for what I thought was only going to be a follow up ultrasound scan), but to be made aware that this type of surgery invariably brings a very real risk of vocal chord damage, was indeed a terrifying realization for me.
Needless to say that the first night, at home, was a mixed one of disbelief and confusion. “Why did it have to be my throat”? “Why so close to the vocal chords”? Singing has always been such a huge part of my life – since I was a kid!!
It felt like some kind of sick joke – except it wasn’t. It was real – very real!!
There was little sleep that night. I think at one point, I curled up in a tight little ball and managed to cry myself to sleep for at least a couple of hours,
The following few days however, finally brought a degree of perspective to the situation, as I realized that although I couldn’t change my diagnosis (it is what it is), I could absolutely, 100% control the level of fear I wished to assign to this experience…and so I decided that there was “no fear” to be had with this situation, which has truly helped me to maintain a great degree of relative calm (that’s not to say I don’t still have the odd moment…. LOL).
I have also been lucky to have the support of family members at this time, although my mum remains unaware of the situation – she has had her own medical issues to deal with recently, and this news certainly wouldn’t aid her recovery (it’s OK she doesn’t use Facebook! )
And so I step forward into somewhat ‘uncharted waters’ which, either way, I’m sure will have a lasting impression upon my life.
They say that 1 in 3 of us will be affected by cancer at some point in our lives and if that’s the case, then it’s fine with me if, hopefully, my diagnosis means that somewhere out there, 2 people will never need to hear the words “take a seat”, “I’m afraid I have some not so good news for you”.
Wherever you are in the world, whatever you’re doing, take care of you, and be happy 🙂
And if you happen to be heading to the sales, for the madness that is ‘Black Friday ‘ / ‘dog eat dog Friday’ or ‘Kill or be killed Friday’ (whatever it’s called!), then stay safe and don’t get caught in the crush!
Have a great weekend!
Sending lots of love
J x